When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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