but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
