Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
