Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
