My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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