Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
