I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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