how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
