And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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