How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
