Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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