Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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