eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
