Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
