I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
