I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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