Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
