So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
