Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
