I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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