you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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