Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
