I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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