You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
