Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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