dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
