My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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