You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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