i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
