lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
