yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
