you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
