I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize