Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
