No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
