I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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