WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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