btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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