when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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