We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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