well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
