It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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