wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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