Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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