you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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