What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
