It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
