YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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