I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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