The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize