We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
