Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
two words: eviction party
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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