Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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