Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
