i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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