Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
