I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
