Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
