with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
