she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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