These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Actions speak louder than pants.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
