Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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