i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
