this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize