how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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