I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
